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A Christmas Card From The Middleman - 2012 - A Christmas Card From The Middleman - 2012 - THE MIDDLEBLOG Page 3 — LiveJournal [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
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A Christmas Card From The Middleman - 2012 [Dec. 19th, 2012|11:08 pm]
themiddleblog
[Current Location |Silverlake, Los Angeles, CA]
[Current Mood |ecstaticecstatic]

HIGBEE'S CHRISTMAS PARADE - DOWNTOWN

STARDATE 1212.23

10:00 AM IN A CANONICAL, CREATOR-OWNED REALITY


In the past twelve months, The Middleman had gotten used to the feeling of utter, unadulterated and - frankly - de-goshdarn-lightful pride at the progress of his young apprentice. Without fail, the art student who had come under his tutelage a snarky, vinegar-veined quipper had turned into a reliable - if sometimes idiosyncratic - Middleman-to-be. Today was no exception - even if its events were causing him to suck air in a mad canter toward The Middlemobile, where - at the beck and call of a signal from his Middlewatch - the trunk would soon pop open to grant him access to the seldom-used-but-always-at-the-ready Middlejetpack.

The Middleman disliked the Middlejetpack: an archaic contraption harkening back to the days when former Middleman Guy Goddard - his sexual promiscuity as overt as his appetite for vehicular carnage in exotic locales - rode the thing in a green smoking jacket with a Beretta in one hand and a highball of Fleming's Commander Jamaica Rum in the other...but desperate times called for desperate measures, and flingety-flangety-foom, this time was more desperate than a Portland vegan at a Texas barbecue.

--

In the past twelve months, Wendy Watson had honed the cool and sardonic demeanor that first got her this job into a weapon as powerful as a 30-Megahurt Definit-Kil Photrazon cannon. Even now, as she made an uncontrolled ascent over the city, hands white-knuckling one of the control lines of a massive helium balloon in the shape of one of the adorable characters from "Ferrets of Fury" - the almost criminally popular game app that had taken the country's tablet and smartphone users by storm - her thoughts ricocheted with their usual post-modern tangentiality...but even as her mind ameliorated all the synaptic red alerts over her current predicament by busily trying to replace the lyric "high adventure beyond compare" from the theme to the old "Gummi Bears" cartoon show with the more descriptive "they're gelatinous with sucrose to spare" she truly could not tune out the screams of the fourteen year-old boy clutched beside her in the inflatable paws of this once adorable video game creation turned hateful harbinger of helium-filled hatred.

Wendy disliked it when the people targeted by the many villains she and The Middleman were tasked with neutralizing blew their Huggies in the face of danger, but even she had to cut this kid some slack: not only had he been put in the crosshairs by a time-traveling superbeing from three hundred years in an alternate future, he had also seen his first day volunteering at the Higbee's Department Store Christmas Parade turn into a Grand Guignol of mayhem at the hands of a hundred foot long inflatable ferret. Also, he'd grown up with the incredibly misguided name "Tiberius Davis." Poor kid, his parents really should have shown him mercy.

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[User Picture]From: livejournal
2012-12-21 05:50 am (UTC)

Friday Wol is stylin'

User extemporanea referenced to your post from Friday Wol is stylin' saying: [...] Grillo-Marxuach, the creator of the Middleman, writes Middleman fanfic. Today, a Christmas card [...]
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[User Picture]From: deguspice
2012-12-21 06:36 am (UTC)
Thank you for sharing this with us!
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[User Picture]From: malakhai
2012-12-21 09:29 pm (UTC)
This is the best Christmas present ever!
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[User Picture]From: tvgurl_offcouch
2012-12-21 11:49 pm (UTC)
It really is Christmas!! Thanks so much!
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[User Picture]From: hematitebadger
2012-12-22 10:49 am (UTC)
This has given me so much eee. Thank you.

- A fan who still carries her Middleman dogtags (one emblazoned with "ART CRAWL!" and the other with "Yo, Wendy Watson...") on her knitting bag with pride
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[User Picture]From: livejournal
2012-12-23 06:13 pm (UTC)

well, the pleasure, the privilege is mine

User unfitforsociety referenced to your post from well, the pleasure, the privilege is mine saying: [...] and Holmes is her Watcher. * The Middleman/Star Trek A Christmas Card From The Middleman – 2012 [...]
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[User Picture]From: livejournal
2012-12-27 05:00 pm (UTC)

Day After Boxing Day Links

User browngirl referenced to your post from Day After Boxing Day Links saying: [...] (from Hogfather) A present for all fans of The Middleman [...]
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[User Picture]From: bearhand
2012-12-28 12:43 am (UTC)
No I'm depressed. I'm going outside and kick a villain until I feel better.
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From: themiddleblog
2012-12-28 04:50 am (UTC)
didn't like the story?
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[User Picture]From: bearhand
2012-12-28 11:27 am (UTC)
Loved the story, kicked two puppy villains into a comatose state because "Wendy Williams" wasn't allowed to continue her crime fighting ways on TV. But loved the story this Christmas and last Christmas.
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[User Picture]From: fairest1
2013-01-07 03:06 am (UTC)
Encountering this well after Christmawanzaanukkah, but nonetheless I must declare that it is a thing of beauty and a joy to behold. *v-salute* Health and long life!
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[User Picture]From: Sam Schott
2013-02-03 04:08 am (UTC)
I just finished watching The Middleman series for the very first time and immediately bought the DVD set. Thanks for such a great time, both the series and this blog.
Going to hunt down "The Doomsday Armageddon Apocalypse" ASAP. Too many good things to say about the writing, acting, artwork, and everything else. If the villains diabolical plans are, in fact, sheer elegance in its simplicity... then your heroic efforts must be, in fact, opaque opulence in its complexity. I humbly and gratefully bow to your ubergeekness. Gratis also for this holiday story. So much awesomeness, though I think my favorite is the P.L.O.T.D.E.V.I.C.E.
Sure wish the the 2nd season could have happened... I really love the new "Fools! I will destroy you all!" evil declaration. It has me pondering what the third season's scum motto would have been. I'm thinking - "And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for them meddlin' Middlemen!"
Best,
Sam
http://LaserShowDynamic.com (soon to release "Welcome To The Machine", BTW) and
http://TheSamSchott.com (Enjoy "Darth Maisie - Sith Lord of the Couch" on the Maisie's Couch page!)
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[User Picture]From: jiawen
2013-03-02 08:25 am (UTC)
I suggest this episode be titled "The Far Future Fanfiction Fracas". In any case, good to see that the Middlefranchise continues into the 22nd 23rd century.
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[User Picture]From: jesterlady
2014-02-24 06:32 am (UTC)
This is so full of amazing. And is very special.

Art Crawl!
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